Friday, January 24, 2014

I am not trying to kill my husband (or any other member of my family)

My friend and I were talking the other day and she said, "I love your blog it is so funny".  I, of course, love to hear that people love to read my random thoughts and think I am funnny so I zoned out for a few minutes daydreaming of becoming the next Erma Bombeck or Jenny Lawson (If you are under 40 google Erma Bombeck, if you don't read blogs much google Jenny Lawson) 

Break for two to three minutes for googling homework assignment!

So you are with me now and smarter than you were a few minutes ago! Yeah!! Anyhow, how cool would that be to have my own column in a newspaper where my thoughts would actually be worth printing in ink!  I could maybe get a super cool travel van and paint it cool colors like GREEN and WHITE and tour around the country talking about my random thoughts.  It would be glorious!  With images of what I would do with the million dollar contract with the Detroit Free Press or the Chicago Tribune running through my mind, I suddenly realized I was missing the rest of my friend's comments. Anyhow, as I focused back into my friend's words she was saying, "that story where you tried to kill Jeff with the ranch dressing that was so FUNNY" and this made me realize that there might be people out there thinking that I am trying to off my husband and this is simply not the case.  I need to clear this misconception up before the police show up on my door step and I have a lot of explaining to do.

 I love him (with all my heart) even if I do occasionally "run" away for four or five hours at a time or accidentally poison him with spoiled food every now and then.  I really do.  So I just wanted to clarify that I am not trying to kill my husband (or any other member of my family) I am trying to save us money by using up the sh*t we have in our cupboards and freezers while keeping in mind whenever possible proper nutrition and the growth and development of our precious children.  Oh and save starving people somewhere.  You know if we waste less stuff, it might somehow save someone somewhere who would otherwise starve.  I am all kinds of a hero here, not some crazy lady trying to kill her husband.  Anywho. 

Now without going into a super long running story again,  because I dont want to be "that girl" who constantly talks about running.  Oh wait I already am.  Anyhow, I wanted to take a brief moment to share a picture from my outing this morning.  It was taken post-run and my girls are in it.  I love them too dearly.  They told me they were glad I ran outside so that I will be happier the rest of the day.  I think they understand mommy pretty well.  I suspect that comment was a direct result of our getting stuck in our driveway on our way to the work-out center...and my swearing at the van repeatedly as a result and then apologizing profusely during our drive.  Grandpa was our hero.  He helped get us unstuck. Oh and I also wanted to let people know in case their was an confusion about the neck warmer thingamajiggy, it only works well for the first 4 miles or maybe with limited winds because today it froze into a solid mold of the shape of my face.  It wasn't pretty. But I suppose it did still add some protection from frostbite and let's face it prevention of frostbite, hypothermia and other temperature related enigmas is really the goal of the neck warmer thingamajiggy so I guess it was technically successful.  Even if it was UGLY frozen in a likeness to my face.  I am frostbite free and proud to be!

Last night for dinner we ate, as we do on most Thursdays, at my in-laws.  I know, it's true, I do have the best in-laws in the entire world.  I defintely won the in-law lottery!  I love them too like a whole bunch.  So my family ended up with breaded pork chops or chicken breasts (yes they had choices), cheesy potatoes, jello, rolls and real bone-a-fide corn for their vegetable (or broccoli again they had choices).  We are blessed it's true.  Thanks Grandma and Grandpa C. for the best meal this side of the freezer challenge.
 Vern Out

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