Okay perhaps all this cold weather is getting to me more than I realized because today I have some "beans to spill" or some "dirt to share" with everyone. These confessionals are brought to you by Charmin and Fiber One.
(Imagine relaxing music playing while a cute bear dances with toilet paper and a granola bar in his hands for a couple minutes) Music fades out and the screen goes black).
First of all, I actually cheated more than I originally admitted last week. I just forgot. I know that sounds kinda crazy, but I forget things a lot. This forgetfullness does not mean I am crazy, just absent-minded. I blame my faulty brain, but my husband argues that I have just always been this way. (side note I had emergency brain surgery to treat hydrocephalus a chronic brain condition in 2007 so that is why I often refer to my brain as faulty. Unfortunately, you dont get any exchange or refund for faulty brains). Back to the story. You know it was the day I was shopping at Sam's Club to get my thyroid pills?... so I wouldn't die? Yep that day. I cheated more that day. I also bought Fiber One bars and some soups (cream of whatever ones) for preparing meals. Both items were on sale at Meijer (so yes I cheated... at two stores... during my "moment" of weakness) I guess it was more like a morning of weakness as opposed to just a moment of it. I am sorry. The Fiber One bars were plain and simply an attempt to eat healthier in the morning. The soups are to help prepare recipes that call for cream of "____" soups. In my defense, I forgot about buying these additional items (you know because of my faulty brain) until I saw the granola bars in the pantry this morning or I would have confessed this last week with the rest of my cheating ways.
Oh and now that we might be expanding our saving ways to other areas, Jeff has declared that I use too much toilet paper. WTF? I feel like this is completely unfair. First of all, that is a very personal area to attack. Secondly, I have not been able to go to the bathroom in peace since we had kids nearly eight years ago...Now I have to add to my already challenging bathroom experience the worry that I might use too much paper. I call shenanigins. When is the last time a child followed him into the bathroom? Or pounded on the bathroom door like a bounty hunter, hot on his tail as Jeff tried to go potty? NEVER. That's when. And furthermore, no one ever hollers for him to wipe their butt during meal time? They always holler for MOMMY. So I will use as much toilet paper as I deem necessary to wipe all of our a**es and he can kiss mine. End of story. This is why Charmin was a sponsor today people because of this little episode. It inspired the makers of Charmin!
Oh and I am finally getting my ironing lessons this morning from Jeff's Grandma. (Yes I realize this has nothing to do with the shopping challenge, but I have to share). I know it sounds all 1940s and sometimes I feel like Jeff may have been born in the wrong decade (or century) because he is so "old fashioned". Anyhow, I grew up in a home where ironing was performed for two reasons funerals and Easter. That was it. Back then I was too young to operate the iron so I watched my mom perform this foreign process from a safe observation distance. And my mom was a bit overprotective in the ironing department. I guess she was convinced I was going to permanently disfigure my beautiful face by touching it or something. She would let us kids play outside in a barnyard (that had a stream running through it mind you and all kinds of dangerous farm implements and lots of boards with old rusty nails in them and...)You get the idea it was unsafe. But we would play out there for hours unsupervised, but if we got within 10 feet of that iron she would put a stop to that right away. This is my entire life's experience with ironing. Then I went and married Jeff and he erroneously believes that all women have this inherent ability to iron sh*t. I do not and honestly I don't think most women do nowadays. So this morning his Grandma has agreed to try to teach me! It should be interesting.
Anyhow the other area I must confess about involves my housekeeping skills. I fully admit I am not the best housekeeper. But we have three young kids, a dog, a rabbit and two birds not to mention Jeff living here so all things considered I think I do okay. Jeff and I don't really see eye-to-eye when it comes to housekeeping either. He feels I should spend every waking hour cleaning our home and that it should always be spic 'n span (mental note pursue spic n span as a future commercial sponsor). This is especially true now that "all" I do is stay home with our three kids. Yes I am just a good for nothing housewife. Little does he know, the billing department has an invoice with his name on it that will be mailed at the end of this month (no I am not kidding. It turns out I do more than he thinks I do)! I see housecleaning as an area where I am totally willing to say "close enough" because someone is going to mess something up as soon as I finish cleaning it anways. I think of housekeeping as a marathon and Jeff sees it as a sprint. His Grandma has also graciously agreed to offer her housekeeping tips to me and all of this is free of charge! WOW.
There I feel so much better after sharing all this. I guess the Catholics might be on to something here with this little confessional thing!
Anyhow we are going to the grocery store this morning after we go run at the aquatic center. Hopefully I will stick to my list of approved items and I won't find another confessional necessary tomorrow!
Ver n Out