Monday, November 10, 2014

Mopping Nightmares

In my hillbilly cousin's words,  "So here's the deal"... I have to go mop shopping this week and it has me scared sh*tless.  Seriously I am freaked out.  Honestly, I would be less scared if I had to run blind-folded and naked through the tri-cities in order to save a life than I am about this mop shopping gig.  The fear has me nearly paralyzed, I am just lucky that I made it out of my house and into the office.  And mops have invaded my dreams too.  Last night one was chasing me around the back forty... I woke up completely exhausted because I was running from crazy mops all night long. It was torture.

Is anyone free to come be my mop shopping assistant?   I will buy you a coffee if you tag along and help me out!  And the good stuff too from Starbucks or Village Baker.

I believe my anxiety about this mop situation is likely rooted in the fact that I have never actually owned a mop. So obviously I have never shopped for one either.  This reality has left me feeling completely inadequate, unqualified and down right scared.  Except for a few jobs over the years, I have never even used a mop.  That's right, for roughly thirty years, I have avoided mops like the Plague or Ebola to more modern!  

I have gotten down on my hands and knees and scrubbed my floors by hand (at least twice a year) for as long as I can remember.  At times, I have scrubbed with knee pads on to protect my knees. When necessary, I have worn protective goggles to keep the chemicals out of my eyes.  I have scrubbed with old socks as rags, or old underwear when I was really desperate.  I have encouraged my children to wear old socks and mop the floors as they slid across the slippery tile (we only did this once because it was kind of messy and didn't really clean the floors very well but it was fun!) But I have never truly mopped our floors!  And just to be completed up front, I am not planning to start mopping them now either.  NOPE.  I may die never having mopped my floors and if I do I am totally okay with that.

But we are hiring a cleaning lady.  Can you believe it?!  And she said she will require a mop so I am now forced to mop shop.  This whole situation is largely due to the fact that my husband and I do not see eye-to-eye on cleaning standards.  He feels the floors should be clean enough to eat off on a daily basis and that dog hair is a problem.  While I figure if we don't have roaches and our feet don't stick to the floors (often) then we are doing okay.  I see the dog hair that is on most surfaces of our home as a sign that our pets are loved and well cared for.  Jeff disagrees.

So anyhow, any mop shopping advice that you have will be welcomed as I have to get one before Friday.  Friday is the mop deadline...

In the meantime, we had a party!
We wanted to make the house as dirty as possible before the cleaning lady starts so we get the most out of our money!

I baked the fancy pink camouflage cake for my youngest 5th birthday!  
Yikes I can't believe she is 5!

It was a camping themed party. So here are the Happy campers!

 The cake complete with campfire and tent!

Trail Mix for our hungry campers!

Happy Monday ya'll!

PS the one exciting thing about this mop snafu is that I get to name him or her and the possibilities are endless! A formal birth announcement is in the works!

Vern Out

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