Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Weight Management 101

If you thought I was going to offer you tips for how to maintain your weight, I am sorry but that is not the intent today.  I realize the name is somewhat misleading;  Okay completely misleading.  However, I had to lure people here to read this somehow and everyone is worried about their weight these days so I figured I would give it a try.  I mean a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right?  And my blog needs more traffic anyways.  So if you are looking for tips on how to lose weight, you may want to check out a different blog because you are likely to gain a few pounds simply by reading this story.  Seriously, get out of here if you don't want to gain a pound or twelve...

My actual scale reading when I stepped on it after the Breakfast Potpie dinner!

Wait... never mind all of that introduction crap about not helping you with your fitness goals,  misleading you  in an attempt to boost viewership and the threat that you might gain weight by simply glancing at this post, I've changed my mind!!! And I am a woman so I am entitled to do so.

Oh and I went ahead and put together a few quick fitness related tips, here you go:

Make fitness a priority!

Don't worry about what other people think about you.  BEST advice ever.  Do your own thing; And losing your mind, or being labeled crazy it totally okay!  Most accomplished people are labeled crazy at some point in their lives.

 You just have to do your best.  Don't try to be perfect.  Don't compare yourself to others.  Leave perfection to God and just try to be better today than you were yesterday.

Those are the best motivational posts I found during my two minute google search.  I know I wish I had my own R&D team so that I could do a more thorough job, but alas it is just me.  I am an army of one!  Now fat content and cholesterol levels aside, breakfast pot pie for dinner the other night was ahhhmazing!  Everyone loved the Breakfast Potpie and I made pancakes on the side because you know I am that AWESOME of a mother and wife! It was so good!  SO VERY GOOD.  The word good doesn't really do it justice.  It was a life altering, dining experience and it may very well revolutionize the entire potpie industry.  That is how darn "good" it was.  

However, if I had weighed myself before and after the breakfast pot pie, I am fairly certain I would weigh in a pound (or twelve) more after consuming it.  Good thing I didn't actually step on the scale during the pot pie experimentation phase!  I sure dodged that bullet!  Breakfast Pot Pie is so delicious, I must not keep it secret.  Or maybe I should so I can market the sh*t out of it and become a gazillionaire.  Decisions decisions. What to do...What to do.....

A little distraction so I have more time to ponder this dilemma:
  hahahahahahahah!  This is so very completely funny to me!  I have very little patience for people who make excuses about why they can't fit a workout into their daily schedule.  It really is a matter of prioritizing and for me fitness almost always makes the cut.  I just feel so MUCH BETTER when I get a good workout in and I really don't have time for being dead 24-hours a day!

Okay I am feeling generous today and very happy, giddy even. This generosity is probably somehow related to my body trying to process the breakfast pot pie the past couple days. Regardless, here it is! Your very own. step-by-step guide on how to create your personalized artery clogging, weight gaining, absolutely tasty, although completely unhealthy, Breakfast Potpie!

How to create a sliver of heaven here on earth, I mean a Breakfast Potpie...

Step one:  Cook the eggs, sausage and hash browns independently of one another.

Step two:  Bake the pie crust for 12 minutes 
Yes step three involves canned gravy.  Sad, but true add a can of canned sausage gravy (or if you have more hours in your day make it from scratch) and about 1/4 cup half and half to a sauce pan (or if you are tight on time like I was microwave it).  The important thing is to heat it up.

Layer the sausage, scrambled eggs and hash browns into the pie crust.  Pour the gravy sauce over the top and bake at 400 for about twenty minutes, or until bubbly around the edges, or until your smoke detector goes off alerting you to a small fire inside your oven. You know whatever happens first.

Best of luck and I hope your smoke detector is not needed!

Vern Out

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