Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Riddle me this

What do a fish fry, healthy chocolate bread (made from two year old goop that my cousin gave me), a flock of  happy, free-range chickens and a package of jalapeno cheddar cheese smoked sausages have in common?  Not a darn thing. Yep absolutely nothing; other than they all happen to be on the premises as I write this particular story.

Anyhow this will be short.  At least I intend for it to be short.  But I guess saying that it will be short has already made it longer than I intended for it to be...Anyhow, I continue on my ambitious pursuit to use up what meager food particles remain in our homestead.  And as I work tirelessly on this mission I am reminded of my purpose for being on this grand and splendid earth...and it tis to... do laundry...

and since I do so much God awful laundry, I hate when the dryer is broken (aka it rains like a sonofab*tch and therefore the clothesline doesn't work out so well and I have to either A. not do laundry or B. put the laundry in the dark, energy sucking abyss that is my real bonafide dryer).  Yes all this rain has really started to interrupt my laundry patterns which is more disturbing to me than interrupted sleep patterns so I hope the rain is over for awhile.  But this really has nothing to do with my story and I am trying to be quick so I am going to move right along....

My husband went ice-fishing a lot this winter (partly because he enjoys fishing, partly because he likes to avoid being around me and partly because this winter was so stinking long) and Chester therefore has a large number of fish stored within him.  A lot of fish!  So last week Jeff finally fired up the old fry daddy and made us a good old fashioned fish fry for dinner!!!  All joking aside, it was AWESOME! The BEST part, was this time I didn't choke on any bones!
 We take care of Mother Nature by reducing, reusing and recycling!

A bowl of cold water: The highly sophisticated thawing process that was developed by my main squeeze!

The mess created when my husband cooks can only be matched by a nuclear bomb or possibly a young child with uncontrollable diarrhea or a sharpie marker!

 The latest stash of hand-me-down foods...breakfast sausage, burritos and jalapeno cheddar sausages!

 Stan the Man competed in the "best dressed" contest at the Spring Lake Heritage Festival! 

 Yes the date reads 11-30-12 as in 2012 

This bag of goop (picture above) had been living in my cousin's freezer for over two years: A freezer that lacks a name I might add because she too doesn't believe in naming household appliances.  When will people ever learn?  Do they really think their appliances will perform at their best if they are not even on a first name basis with them?  Oh and yes I just used that two and a half year old goop tonight to make the AMAZING chocolate Amish Friendship bread pictured below!!
Wipe the drool off your face and get back to reading my story...

So not long after the Fish Fry, I had to evacuate Wally (remember he is the upstairs freezer who shares a duplex with our fridge!) Anyhow a few days ago Wally was much too warm as our ice cream was very soft when we were making our breakfast (yes we were having ice cream for breakfast, but there is a good explanation for that so please don't judge) the interest of keeping this short, I won't share the lengthy explanation with you, but rest assured that it was actually frozen yogurt which is basically a health food so my kids were being well cared for on this particular day in question when we were eating ice cream (I mean frozen yogurt) for breakfast.  And more importantly you do not need to report me to the authorities. Since the ice cream resembled milk instead of cream, I decided that swift action was required so at lightening speed I moved all of the food from Wally down to our beloved Chester.  I am proud to say that all of our frozen foods are now safe and sound under his jurisdiction and should we decide to dine on ice cream or frozen yogurt for breakfast it will be the proper consistency. 

P.S. Remember cute dogs help increase viewership and clearly my blog needs all the help it can get so please share my cute dog pictures with your friends!

That is all.

Vern Out

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